Lonely This Christmas
by Doctor Addison Montgomery
Summary: SmithyKerry. It's Christmas and will they give love just one more chance or will just be another lonely Christmas? Completley AU and I don't own 'Lonely This Christmas' by Mud. Please review! xxx


**Lonely This Christmas **

_It'll be lonely this Christmas  
without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
lonely and cold  
It'll be cold, so cold, without you to hold  
this Christmas._

Smithy trudged through the snow on this way home from work. Today was the last day of this shift before Christmas and he had the whole week between Christmas and New Year off as well. He wondered what on earth he was going to do with himself over the Christmas period. It wasn't as if Smithy had any family that he could say he was close to or acutally wanted to spend Christmas with. He sighed, his breath coming out in an icy cloud. Smithy would be glad when he could get home and wallow in his own self pity until the next morning.

_Try to imagine a house that's not a home  
Try to imagine a Christmas all alone  
That's where I'll be since you left me  
My tears could melt the snow  
What can I do without you?  
I've got no place, no place to go._

PC Kerry Young came in from her shift and was grateful for the almost warm shower in the ladies changing room. Pulling on her clothes and wrapping a scarf around her neck Kerry said goodbye and Merry Christmas to all her friends that she wouldn't be seeing until she came back to work. Honey and Yvonne hugged their friend and replied with Happy Christmases of their own.  
On the way out of the changing room Kerry met Inspector Gold who also wished her a Merry Christmas.  
"Thank you ma'am." Kerry replied to Gina. "I hope you enjoy the break."  
She half snorted but thanked PC Young all the same.

Away from the station Kerry walked home along the deserted High Street, dreading the thought of her empty, lonely flat. Ever since Gabriel Kent had come into her life she had lost everything of any value to her. At least he was gone now.

_It'll be lonely this Christmas  
without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
lonely and cold  
It'll be cold, so cold, without you to hold  
this Christmas._

When Smithy reached his house he boiled the kettle and made himself a steaming cup of coffee. On his kitchen table were the pile of presents he had bought ages before when he was trying to be organised. Now, on the 22nd of December they still remained unwrapped. Smithy looked at the list and frowned. There was a new scarf for his sister, some perfume and chocolates for his Mum, a bottle of wine for Gina, and several small gifts for his nieces and nephews. The last item on the list shocked him, it was something he hadn't remembered buying. Digging through the items he found what he was looking for. It was a matching necklace and earring set he had bought for Kerry back in the summer when he was in Spain. He had hoped to give it to her when she came back but she was with Cameron then and it would have looked wrong if he had given it to her then. Smithy wondered what he was going to do with it. Would it be too awkward just to pop round to her flat before Christmas and give it to her?  
No, they'd hurt each other too much in the past year.

_Each time I remember, the day you went away  
How I would listen to the things you wanted to say  
I just break down as I look around  
And the only things I see  
Are emptiness and lonliness  
And an unlit Christmas tree _

Kerry flopped down on the sofa as soon as she got home, armed with a mug of tea and the remote control. Being only a few days from Christmas everything seemed to revolve around it and it made Kerry sad for the Christmas she could be having. Settling for a Christmas film Kerry looked over at her Christmas tree. She had become so frustrated with the fairy lights last weekend when she put the tree up that she had given up with them. It made the tree look bare and it just didn't seem right. Kerry scanned down to the pile of presents sat beneath the tree. She was keeping them there until she delivered them to her friends and family.

There was some usual gifts for her parents and other family members as well as toiletries and make up for Yvonne and Honey. Sitting near the back of the tree was Smithy's gift. Kerry walked over to the tree and picked the present up, with her thumb she absent mindedly stroked the Christmas paper. Beneath the layer was this seasons West Ham football shirt that she knew Smithy would love it was just the fact that it was coming from her that was the problem. Part of her wanted to drop it around anonymously but she knew she had to face up to her mistakes. Kerry was just scared of Smithy's reaction.

_It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Lonely and cold  
It'll be cold, so cold  
Without you to hold  
This Christmas _

The next morning Smithy woke up and groaned. He was supposed to be seeing his sister and her baby son today and although he loved them he just wasn't in the mood.  
Late last night he had finished wrapping up his presents and now he selected the one he had bought for his relatives and headed out in his car to meet them.

Kerry Young decided that she would get the pain and rejection over and done with and got up early. Even though it was Christmas Eve Kerry decided to start her present delivery just after nine, her first stop was Smithy's house. Arriving on foot, Kerry rang the door and waited. When no one answered she banged the knocker loudly but there was still no response. That was when she noticed that Smithy's car was gone and cursing to herself Kerry headed for Honey and Yvonne's houses.

_D'you remember last year, when, you and I were together  
We never thought there'd be an end  
And I remember looking at you then  
And I remember thinking that Christmas must have been made for us  
Because darling, this is the time of year  
That you really, you really need love  
And it means so very, very much _

After his day out with his relatives a slightly exhausted Smithy decided he would deliver his Christmas presents. He wanted to leave Kerry's until last but he knew if he didn't it would never get delievered to her. When he arrived on her doorstep he was slightly out of breath and cold from the snow which had begun to fall again.

Kerry opened the door of her flat, wondering who it could be. She was surprised to see her Sergeant, his hair dusted with snowflakes and his cheeks tinged pink from the cold. Kerry was so surprised that she forgot where she was and what she was doing.

"Um, do you want to come in?" She asked, feeling her cheeks redden now. Seeing this Smithy's cheeks changed colour to a deeper pink. Sheepishly he held out his present and nodded a yes.

Once inside Kerry dived under the Christmas tree and pulled out her present for Smithy, praying that he'd like it.

While she was doing this Smithy noticed the string of lights strewn across the floor.

"Can I help you with these?" He asked and Kerry knew she couldn't say no. Smithy didn't seem to hate her, it was as if Christmas magic was working in her favour this year.

"Yes please." Kerry replied. "As you can see I wasn't having much luck!"  
Smithy smiled, the grin reaching his eyes and soon they were untangling the lights and Smithy replaced the bulbs that weren't working. He helped

Kerry to wind the lights around the tree. She started and the top and he unwound them as she reached the bottom part of the tree their heads became closer together. Something magical seemed to take over and Smithy let his lips meet Kerry's. Suddenly the problems of their past together was forgotten.

Coming up for air, Kerry was embarrassed and tried to stutter and apology but Smithy stopped her.  
"Don't be sorry." He said, plugging the lights in. "I'm not."  
Kerry could have cried at that moment, happy tears and tears of relief.

_So if you're lonely this Christmas  
Without me to hold  
Well it will be so very lonely  
Lonely and cold _

"Thank you." Kerry said, then taking a risk she added. "What are you doing for Christmas?"  
"Absolutley nothing." Smithy replied. "How about you?"  
"Nothing either." She replied, half smiling.  
"I should go." Smithy told her. "But I'll see you again?"  
It was a question not a statement and Kerry nodded. Smithy leant down and kissed her again.  
"I love you." Kerry blurted out, unable to stop herself.  
Smithy smiled again, hugging her before he left.

_It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Without you to hold  
It'll be lonely this Christmas  
Lonely and cold  
It'll be cold so cold without you to hold  
This Christmas_

Maybe things weren't so bad. Smithy thought on his way home after his eventful evening with Kerry. He had a lot of thinking to do.

Kerry couldn't believe that this was happening to her. She knew she loved Smithy but she hadn't meant to say it out loud. The most amazing thing was she hadn't scared him off by saying it.  
Her present was still on the sofa in her living room and she picked up before realising Smithy hadn't taken his with him. Maybe that really did mean that he was coming back for it.

The next morning Smithy headed for Canley High Street and found the shop that he wanted. Smiling to himself he bought his purchase and carried it home.

Later that evening both Smithy and Kerry showered. Smithy wanted to look his best for Kerry and Kerry hoped that Smithy would come.

At eight o'clock Smithy rang the doorbell and they talked and kissed, things were just how they had once been.

_Merry Christmas, darling, wherever you are_

The next morning, Christmas Day, Kerry awoke in Smithy's arms and smiled with real happiness. He awoke soon after and stroked her blonde hair, a smile playing on his lips.

Lazily they got up and walked downstairs. Smithy, who had been optimistic had brought his own presents with him, wanting this Christmas to be perfect.

Kerry loved the jewellery that Smithy had bought for her and Smithy was over the moon when he opened Kerry's present.

They sat and drank champayne in each others arms before Smithy pulled a surprise out from up his sleeve.

"Oh, I think I noticed one more present." Kerry looked puzzled. Smithy handed her a small wrapped present and she opened it, wondering what it could be.  
The thought had never crossed her mind.

"Kerry Young, will you marry me?" He asked.  
Her eyes shining with tears of happiness. "Yes, I would love to."  
"Really?" Smithy was hoping that he was dreaming.  
"I said yes didn't I!" Kerry laughed, letting Smithy slip the ring onto her finger.  
"Merry Christmas, I love you." He whispered.  
Kerry let herself be pulled into a hug and rested her head on his shoulder.  
"I love you too Smithy."


End file.
